Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ode to the Southern Summer
Hello friends and foes! I am back in Knoxville and ready for this, my last semester, to begin. Ready I may be, but I am certainly not rejuvenated or fresh; my blood does not course with a particular youthful vigor. Oh no--as my more adept creepers may already know, I spent the summer interning at the Oxford American Magazine, in Conway, Arkansas. It just may have been the best experience (both practical and very impractical) of my life to date. Here is a small sampling of what I've absorbed over the summer:
1) I am worn out.
2) Llamas come in two types: aloof and bat-explicative-crazy.
...a. Llamas are born.
...b. Llamas die with their heads in ponds.
3)Chicken on a stick is delicious
...a. Oxford, Mississippi is a strange and surreal place.
......i. Chicken on a stick is delicious.
......ii. Chicken on a stick is delicious.
......iii. There are recycling bins on every street corner in Oxford, Mississippi.
...b. Chicken on stick will appear in Bon Appetit Magazine.
4) Southern literature is good.
...a. Thomas Wolfe was a card.
...b. James Agee was very attractive.
......i. Writers are attractive, in general.
.........1. I am lustful.
.........2. I am creepy.
......ii. Writers are cards, in general.
5) Arkansas has big bugs.
6) Punctuation
...a. Em-dash
...b. En-dash
...c. Hyphen.
7) It is impossible to refuse $1 PBR.
8) Arkansas is hot.
9) Magazines, such as this, are very important and must exist come hell or high-water.
10) I am really worn out, but in that satisfying way of aching muscles.
Now, I am less than enthused about my Magazine Industry Workshop class, in which we produce Scoop, the College of Communication's magazine. It pales in comparison to the OA. I fear my Summer Experience has already made me too big for my britches. Watch out! Very tight britches coming through! Remember: this is simply first class impressions. It might turn out just swell.
Southern summers are steamy. It rained today. Due to poor judgment on my part, I got soaking wet. It was scandalous, and my hair rebounded with three times its previous volume. Somewhat disconcertingly, there were many people all over campus. I mean, way more than usual. I will keep you posted as the situation develops. I spent a large portion of the afternoon observing the freshmen, in all their over-eager and/or pompous glory. It's not your fault, freshmen! I realize I must sound like a big upperclassman jerk right now, but it's just the nature of things. College, like the Southern summer, wears you down. Give it a year (or two, if you are of a particularly stubborn breed). Eventually it ends with a vague feeling comprised of equal parts disillusionment and validation.
PS--Two things should be noted, here: 1) As you may have noticed, I am no longer using roman numerals to title my entries. Deal with it! I'm trying a new technique that I may or may not have lifted directly from the pages of the OA's Best of the South Issue. 2) I'm linking previously mentioned items to the entries in which I previously mentioned them--a trick I picked up from the very funny Jack Pendarvis, a man whose words are certainly worth your while. Hope he doesn't mind!
1) I am worn out.
2) Llamas come in two types: aloof and bat-explicative-crazy.
...a. Llamas are born.
...b. Llamas die with their heads in ponds.
3)Chicken on a stick is delicious
...a. Oxford, Mississippi is a strange and surreal place.
......i. Chicken on a stick is delicious.
......ii. Chicken on a stick is delicious.
......iii. There are recycling bins on every street corner in Oxford, Mississippi.
...b. Chicken on stick will appear in Bon Appetit Magazine.
4) Southern literature is good.
...a. Thomas Wolfe was a card.
...b. James Agee was very attractive.
......i. Writers are attractive, in general.
.........1. I am lustful.
.........2. I am creepy.
......ii. Writers are cards, in general.
5) Arkansas has big bugs.
6) Punctuation
...a. Em-dash
...b. En-dash
...c. Hyphen.
7) It is impossible to refuse $1 PBR.
8) Arkansas is hot.
9) Magazines, such as this, are very important and must exist come hell or high-water.
10) I am really worn out, but in that satisfying way of aching muscles.
Now, I am less than enthused about my Magazine Industry Workshop class, in which we produce Scoop, the College of Communication's magazine. It pales in comparison to the OA. I fear my Summer Experience has already made me too big for my britches. Watch out! Very tight britches coming through! Remember: this is simply first class impressions. It might turn out just swell.
Southern summers are steamy. It rained today. Due to poor judgment on my part, I got soaking wet. It was scandalous, and my hair rebounded with three times its previous volume. Somewhat disconcertingly, there were many people all over campus. I mean, way more than usual. I will keep you posted as the situation develops. I spent a large portion of the afternoon observing the freshmen, in all their over-eager and/or pompous glory. It's not your fault, freshmen! I realize I must sound like a big upperclassman jerk right now, but it's just the nature of things. College, like the Southern summer, wears you down. Give it a year (or two, if you are of a particularly stubborn breed). Eventually it ends with a vague feeling comprised of equal parts disillusionment and validation.
PS--Two things should be noted, here: 1) As you may have noticed, I am no longer using roman numerals to title my entries. Deal with it! I'm trying a new technique that I may or may not have lifted directly from the pages of the OA's Best of the South Issue. 2) I'm linking previously mentioned items to the entries in which I previously mentioned them--a trick I picked up from the very funny Jack Pendarvis, a man whose words are certainly worth your while. Hope he doesn't mind!
• • •
2 Comments:
Yay! I'm so glad to see you blogging again! You're the best blogger, Jeasto.
I want updates from Korea. You aren't allowed to read my blog until to do this.
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