Jessica Y

[good morning]

2009-11-12T04:07:00.000-08:00

time: 7:12am
current song: someone giggling to my right.

Alas world, I am still awake.

I watched the. . .clouds rise this morning through a window in the library. At this point, my time in the library is rounding 9 hours. Surely this will not end well, and I will end up taking my frustrations out in intelligible, high-pitched squawking or worse: by staring blankly at others, who will surely feel I am surely trying to take their souls, which might result in some kind of Fatal Frame mania. Does that even make sense?

Let's move on.

I am currently sitting in the Commons doing homework that I have long put off. Hopefully I will do a better job at doing homework on time next week. In another note, I look somewhat like a vagabond, as I am dragging around a blanket and an over sized hoodie, wearing a cardigan that is too big and house shoes. Not to mention the smeared eyeshadow, "writer's hands" (a term i have coined that explains the ever-present pen markings on my hands), messy ponytail, and bag of cough drops at my side.

College students are so cool.

edit: 7:18am: There is an orientation leader sitting near me now, who actually might be said orientation leader's twin. . . .neat!

edit: 7:20am: Dear Alix/Max, sorry if you feel like you are being watched. . . .you are =]

edit: 7:25am: It is things like this why I should not be allowed to walk the earth before 9am.

[the wild things apparently live in my room]

2009-11-09T13:09:00.000-08:00

time: 4:22p.m.
current song: seven times seventy [brand new]

Dear readers,
My roommate is a panda.

This is my roommate Allison. For her, from what I gathered, Halloween party art class, she was required to dress up as an animal. Upon inspection of her side of the room, you might think that she is obssessed with pandas. And at this point, I'm convinced she is. However, the real point of it all is that her art class is focusing on different perspectives of one animal. Which would explain the panda socks, the panda plushie, and the panda made out of oreos, and the panda on my door.

Word.

Anywho, a little late, but for Halloween I was a procrastinating student who was about ready to drop out instead of reading another word out of a Gothic or Victorian novel (sorry, Dr. Harris.).

In other news, I listened to the commercials and decided to go see Paranormal Activity on Friday. Saturday afternoon I saw Where the Wild Things Are.

Now, feel free to disagree but. . .
Being chased through a forest by this:

is waaaaay scarier than this ever will be:

Just saying.

[It's almost four, and I definitely have class soon, but. . .]

2009-10-05T00:42:00.000-07:00

time: 3:43
current song: PokeRap [unknown]

Does anyone else wonder what the PokeRap from back in the good ole days would sound like now?

[nothing personal.]

2009-10-02T01:19:00.000-07:00

time: 2:14am
current song: weightless [all time low]

How To Become An Undecided Major
(Based on Lorrie Moore's "How To Become A Good Writer")

Come up with a deadset goal in 10th grade. Decide to go to Columbia University or Carnegie Mellon when they send you a brochure in the mail. Aim to be a doctor, a teacher, anything.
Spend all your high school efforts on going toward this particular goal. Join the clubs. Do community service. Take AP and dual enrollment courses. Have an episode when your best friend decides not to go to college. Cry when your boyfriend joins the Air Force. Realize at a blood drive that none of your friends have aspirations like you do. Smile. The bigger the smile, the more it will all implode in your face later.
Put your hopes and dreams in a stack on the floor in the corner of your room and forget about them until senior year, when you learn about college rankings, acceptance ranks, standardized testing, application fees, and how $40,000 a year is more than you thought. Cry. Try to get a job to pay for the application fees. Fail. After taking the ACT one more time, apply to three schools: your state school, the school all your friends are going to, and some random college that you kind of want to go to, but only if _____ and _____ happens (you never get both). You get into two. This is where the indecision begins.

Spend the rest of your senior year weighing the pros and cons of both schools. Use everything, anything, to help you decide. Where is the location? How close is the nearest McDonalds to the dorm room you think you're going to get into? Can you have turtles? Do they have a Dance Dance Revolution club? How many majors does the school offer?
Spiral at the thought of choosing a major. Try to pick a major that's related to the goal you had planned in 10th grade. Procrastinate. One day when you're asleep on a biology lab table with your list in your hand one of your friends who has already paid his enrollment fee takes your list, looks over it, wakes you up and tells you which college you are going to because of some random fact. Decide he is enlightened. Tell your parents your college choice, who are still unaware you didn't apply to the college they went to. Stand your ground. Pay the enrollment fee. Feel comforted. Spend the rest of senior year going to parties.

The course catalog you get at orientation is your best friend. Change your schedule for the entire course of the summer until it is perfect and you can sleep in until 11am when all your friend's classes are at nine. Window shop for useless trinkets to put in your room. Try to get into a student apartment and fail. Try to get into a suite and fail. Complain to the housing department. Decide that it doesn't matter, because your schedule is perfect, and you finally got into that photography class you wanted to get into.

College is not what you thought. Your roommate is never there and any friends that go to college with you make friends in the first week of school with people within their majors. Remember you don't have a major. Panic. Recall that at orientation, your advisor told you you had plenty of time to choose a major. Fail to remember that your advisor also told you that even if you got a C in all your high school math classes, that taking calculus was a good idea.
You start hanging out with the weird person down the hall because you were both wearing the same shirt one day. This person is somehow never doing anything, and so you both sit in the library and watch people scurry back and forth and do projects for their major. Waste all your money on coffee.

Decide you like history until someone tells you there is nothing practical about a history major. The same person tells you this about english, biology, and anything in the college of Arts and Sciences. Unless you are going to graduate school. Which you're not.

Go home every other weekend. Tell your college friends that you have things to do. Tell your home friends you can't come home. Tell your parents you're not accepting phone calls, who sigh and question whether you have chosen a major or not yet. Say that you are working on it.

Realize it is October and you haven't started thinking about next semster's courses. Wow, time sure does fly when you're playing Guitar Hero.

Take 19 hours in the spring to make up for loss time. Take on extra clubs and activities. Have an episode on Valentine's Day. Have an episode during spring break. Decide that college is not for you. Realize that because you spent all of your time doing community service and taking difficult classes in high school that you never learned any tactical skills. Take up smoking.

When standing in line deciding what kind of cigarettes to buy, decide you think advertising is interesting. Make a mental note to take an advertising class next fall.

You spend your entire summer reflecting on your childhood passions. Go through withdrawals from trying not to smoke around at your parents house. Remember that when you were 12, you said you would never smoke cigarettes. Start playing video games you played when you were 12. Consider transferring to an art school to make video games. Decide you are already in too deep. Freak out at the idea of turning 20.

Your advertising teacher is really nice. She makes you feel homey and welcome. Thank God for ratemyprofessor.com

Play a lot of Super Smash Brothers. Spend a lot of time posting witty comments on people's Facebook profiles. Stop going home because you don't have a major. Spend your weekends sitting on garden swings.

Decide you hate advertising. Do this with six other majors over the course of two weeks. Consider double-majoring. Consider dropping out. Realize that none of your aspirations are practical or in reach. The smell of cigarettes now make you sick. Eat your feelings in the cafeteria after your 8pm yoga class.

From here, things become increasingly blurry. All you do is mark pages out of your outdated course catalog to narrow things down. Maybe you decide that at least advertising will guarantee you a job that is not a teaching job. You stop being able to see past the age of 22.
Start dating people with majors that interest you to see what the homework is like. Disappear for a month when they catch on.
Tell people how things would have been easier if you would have just gone to the other school you got into. People start getting worried about you. You always look "frazzled" or "spacey" and they ask if you are okay. You have become tranquil.You smile at them and tell them you are fine. Sit in the library and watch people again.

You drop your yoga class so you can spend more time trying to figure out your major. Clean your room. Wash your roommate's clothes. Sleep a lot. Write more lists. Weigh the pros and cons of becoming a secretary. Try to justify that if you are spending $20,000 a year on college, you could make $20,000 dollars a year. Explain to your friends that this is an opportunity cost, which you learned about in your Economics course you thought you needed for your advertising major. They sigh, and hold you tight when they hug you to go to their meetings for various organizations you used to be apart of.

Spend a lot of time re-decorating your room. Stare at the Christmas lights you have hung from the ceiling.
Every once in a while, your roommate's best friend will catch you staring, mouth agape at the Christmas lights. She somehow knows everything about you. She will ask you if you are okay, if you have homework, and if you have chosen a major yet. Tell her that when you were little, the only thing that troubled your mind was the existance of a fat man bringing your presents in the middle of the night every year even though you stopped believing in Santa when you were 8. Tell her you pretended to believe in Santa until you were 12, but your parents are convinced that you actually did believe, and have made sure to tell all your friends and relatives this. Tell her you miss your Pooh Bear stocking. Tell her when you were 8 you wanted to be a christmas-light-maker.
"Aw," she'll say, and then ask to use your laptop, where you will later find your history bar full of self-help links.

[curtain call]

2009-04-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

time: 12:43pm
current song: teenage riot [sonic youth]

The culmination of the last nine months can be summed up in this one picture.

This has everything to with college. This has nothing to do with college. I could see Atlanta from up there, which was a good 40 minute drive, which is more like a 70 minute drive when you factor in Atlanta traffic. It was poetic. Now, for those of you who are wondering how being 17 stories up on a giant piece of steel that slings you around at a top speed of 70mph, let me start from the beginning:

Around three months ago, in a heated argument with my dear friends Jimmy and Josh about theme parks and where we should all take a trip together. After the idea of going to Hershey Park was rejected at least three different times, someone said something about Six Flags.

Silence, and then, "We should go to Six Flags for Jair's (and David's birthday, which I failed to remember >.>;) birthday" came quietly out of my mouth.

And from that moment on, I knew I was screwed.

And I was, my dears, I was. The next three months would be filled with writing the same list over and over again, trying to figure out how to book a hotel because I've never done it before, calculating (and everyone knows how much I have a vehemenent hatred for math), asking people for money, running back and forth, and on top of that, I still had to conquer those 19 hours and my two-month illness. When I tell you that I was a walking "You owe me money" zombie, I'm not even joking.

So when I was on top of that rollercoaster, able to see the Atlanta skyline, next to two friends, knowing that 8 others were at the bottom with me and we had made that trip happen was probably one of the most amazing feelings I'd ever felt in my entire life.

That's what it's about, prospective students. Not some rank in a book, not some piece of flimsy piece of paper that no one will remember in 50 years, but moments like these. I know it's decision time, and honestly, I (and most of my friends) made our decisions on a whim. Around this time a year ago, my friend Jimmy hit my shoulder with a grin and yelled repeatedly, "You're going to UT."

And here I am.

Go where you're going to maximize your amazing moments. To hell with the loans, to hell with the rankings. Do what you have to, it's not the end of the world♥

[finals week]

2009-04-27T17:06:00.000-07:00

Finals are on the way! Which means summer is on the way! Which means it's time for some important study tips!

1. Pastries are not your friend.
2. Neither are energy drinks.
3. Nor 5-Hour Energy.
4. If you plan on studying in the library, plan on moving in around April 24th when classes let out, otherwise, be prepared to face hundreds of angry college students who don't know biogenetics, or economics, or how to find a derivative, or how to simplify a trigonomic function.
5. With that being said, if you want to meet new people, hang around the library during finals. You will see people that you will never again see in life, even if you get their Facebook information.
6. You will NOT get a computer in the library during finals unless you follow tip #4.
7. Perhaps the most important tip at all, which I am almost scared to share, but sometimes. . .the art and architecture building is open. . .and no one is there. . . . .
8. Studying everything in one night probably isn't the best idea.
9. I would study your easiest subjects first. I've always found that if I study the hardest thing first, pft, who cares about the others?
10. Take study breaks. Chill, it's not the end of the world.

[i'm alive!]

2009-04-14T22:29:00.000-07:00

time: 12:58am
current song: you are so last summer [taking back sunday]

19 hours = freshmen suicide.

[I wouldn't suggest trying this, future students, unless you're a masochist or a genius, or both]

I have almost survived perhaps the most overwhelming, stressful, neverending semester of my life. Just about every irritating thing that could happen, has happened: papers have not gotten done, books have been displaced, I can't find The Perks of Being a Wallflower in the library, and oh, my laptop has crashed (but thanks to my amazing friend Jimmy, is temporarily functionable). If I wasn't so used to overworking myself, who knows what building I might have jumped off of. I've come out okay, no battle wounds or anything (although I can say that the month of January and February are a complete blur).

But we'll look past all of the blurred, paper-filled, not sleeping, not eating, and not staying in Knoxville on the weekend days, and fast-foward to the present: I am currently in the Mary Greer room in the library, watching Jimmy study Biology, the only college-level science I'll ever understand, and watching some guy in the library sleep in a chair. I'm telling you, I've been here for like two hours, he hasn't moved a bit. If it wasn't rude, I'd take a picture.

So how are all of you doing on this fine Tuesday night? Enjoying the weather? Haha, just kidding. Of course you're not. My heart goes out to everyone in Rutherford county who got screwed over in the tornados on Friday♥

Uhm. . . .I don't know what to say. I'm definitely sleepy. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch Jimmy do a mix of headbang, sighing, and burying his head in a Biology book some more before heading back to my room.

Night♥

[what's your story?]

2009-02-13T08:35:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to let anyone know, who might happen to be reading this right now and might find themselves passing the Black Cultural Center between now and 3:30 about a little contest by Ready for the World.

Ready for the World strives to enhance much-needed diversity on this campus. And with that being said, they are, and have been hosting a contest all week. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you guys about it sooner, but I've been really caught up my work. I have 19 hours, a virus, and sleep deprivation. But anywho.

I believe I have stories to tell, and that is how I ended up here on UT blogs. But, for those of you who are better with talking than writing, would you want the opportunity to tell your story via camera, have it posted on UT's website, and then have the opportunity to win 200 dollars?!

Sure you would!

So here's what you have to do:

If you think you have a good story, go on over to the BCC before 3:30 and look for the signs. They'll set you up, maybe Smokey the dog will be there and you'll give him a hug (personally, and embarrassingly, he scares me), and they'll set you up (they're really nice!) in front of a camera and you'll be able to go from there. They like props, costumes, whatever. It can be funny, serious, sad, sky's the limit. As long as it's under one minute, all should be fine. Then, a panel of judges will review it, and if you are chosen as the winner, you win 200 dollars. I believe two runner ups will win a prize of 100 dollars!

For more rules and such, visit this link -->http://www.utk.edu/readyfortheworld/story/

So yeah, that's all for now! Good luck to all the entries!!!

[happy birthday fellow january nineteenthers]

2009-01-19T01:12:00.000-08:00

time: 1:12am
current song: flagpole sitta [harvey dangerfield]

Happy birthday to me!

And. . .several millions of others as well, including Edgar Allen Poe and Utada Hikaru (Kingdom Hearts, anyone?)

But in all serious, it's a good holiday. I would be a drastically different person without Mr. King's contribution to society.

This is the month of the birthdays, meaning it is someone's birthday every week. First comes my nephew Christopher on the 7th. Two days later my friend Felicia on the 9th, then one week later my cousin Shakir's. Then ten days later my birthday, then a week later my friend Neda's birthday, and then eleven days after that comes Aysha's. It's really hectic and crazy and , usually, only one of us has a giant party. It seems as though this year it was Felicia's turn. To your right would be Felicia and a cat named Lionel. They're very similar. Don't let them fool you.

Speaking of her party, that Saturday was the Ravens and Titans game. The house we were at didn't have cable. But we made do. Sort of.

I suppose I should talk about school! I really enjoy my classes. Like it's near love. Except for basic calculus, which I will never love, but my teacher's really nice, so its not unbearable. He taught us a trick.

Prepare to be amazed.

Obtain yourself a sheet of paper and a writing utensil and:
1. Pick a number, any number.
2. Multiply it by 2
3. Add 5.
4. Multiply it by 9.
5. Add the digits of your number together until you get a single digit number.
[Example: 1234.1+2+3+4= 10. 1 + 0 = 1]
6. Subtract 5.
7. Pick the letter of the alphabet that corresponds to your number
[1 = A, 2 = B, 3 = C, and so on]
8. Think of a country that starts with that letter.
9. Think of an animal that starts with the last letter in the name of your country.
10. Think of a color that starts with the last letter in the name of your animal.

And. . . . . . .I'll surprise you with the surprise (it will hopefully work, depending on how abstract of a thinker you are) at the end of this. Whenever that may be.

But anyway, this year, I want to get things done. They don't even necessarily have to be IMPORTANT things, but I want to get them done.

To Do List AKA New Years Resolutions:
1. Finally read the last Harry Potter book. (It's overwhelming.)
2. Finish a story
3. Start at least twenty different stories
4. Make a list of things I could major in
5. Contemplate studying abroad
6. Go to Warped Tour
7. Learn to drive
8. Enter a writing contest

The list could go on. Over break, I started writing a couple different stories. I realized high school kind of drained me and the thought of even writing made me sleepy. But not this year. My writing has definitely improved (or at least I think so), and even if it hasn't it was always something that made me happy. So I definitely need to keep doing it.

The last year I haven't exactly been on top of my game. At least the last few parts of the year, probably from about April to present. I am going to change that and get back into "Jessica-is-definitely-an-over-organized-Capricorn" Mode. So, any of my friends reading this, get your lives in gear, because I have things planned that you don't even know about yet :D

I feel like I'm all over the place. Probably because I am. I've been kind of scatterbrained lately (can you tell?). I've spent the last two days doing not much of anything besides watching cartoons and old movies (like Hercules and The Emperor's New Groove) and listening to opening songs from Kingdom Hearts and other video games and. . .just generally being strange.

But anyhow. College. I hope everyone got to apply to all the places they wanted to. And more importantly, I hope you all get into the college of your dreams and everything works out, and if not, worse things could happen. Trust me. I filled out an RA (Resident Assistant) application yesterday (wish me luck!) and had to write an essay, and in that essay I realized there was a block of like five years where some tragic event occured every year. And I'm okay. Better than okay, actually.

Life's funny like that.

(And by the way, did your orange kangaroo live in Denmark?)
♥

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL :D

2009-01-08T09:55:00.000-08:00

1:04pm
[current song: the sweet sound of buses and the money wall]

I am currently sitting on a bench under the University Center walkway waiting for the sun to burst from beneath a cloud. Wow, as soon as I finished that sentence, the sun came back out. Nifty.

I haven't blogged anything in a while and I apologize to everyone for that. The whole exam/holiday thing really bogged down my schedule and the only thing I could think about was math and how I thought I was failing. But apparently I wasn't.

Verdict on first semester of college: Not bad, not bad at all.

Congratulations to anyone who found out they got accepted to the university over winter break. And congratulations to the new freshmen and transfer students who just arrived.

I have so much to say and update everyone on,but now is definitely not the time and place for it. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still alive and around and I'm happy for everyone's current successes.

And oh, so its 2009 now, huh? I hope everyone looked back on their year without regrets. Sometimes I think we, as humans, definitely regret too much. Some things are just meant to happen sometimes whether we at first like them or not. Plot twists and unfortunate events often turn out more interesting than we think they will and life goes on and we still smile occasionally (although hopefully more than just occasionally) no matter how miserable we think we are. No matter what, in the end, you'll be okay, if not better. Just keep going<3

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a facebook to check and an anime/manga class to attend (No joke on the class. I'm just as shocked as you might be.).

[the holiday season is upon us]

2008-11-03T19:08:00.000-08:00

time: 9:10pm
current song: sic transit gloria . . .glory fades [brand new]

Halloween has passed, rooms have been cleaned (or not), classes have started again, people have realized there is only a month to exams, and everyone is back to fighting Monday. Despite this, my roommate has just informed me that this week is Homecoming, so this school will be even further turned upside-down. Not to mention that tomorrow is ELECTION DAY. FINALLY! And Doritos have made it very clear that they are supporting election day, as they were passing out FREE Doritos in the cafeteria today. I have collected at least six bags of them in the last 9 hours.

Now don't get me wrong, homecoming, election day, important, yes? But is anyone aware that in just twenty-seven short days it will be THANKSGIVING! Which means that soon is will be BLACK FRIDAY! Which means soon it will be CHRISTMAS! Which, if you are a college student, means NO CLASSES FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!

It's come to my attention that now is about the time when everyone sighs and drags themselves to their classes. Yes, college does get tiring and the excitement does burn off, but no, it does not burn off forever, and no, that does not mean you should not go if you are capable of going. Even if UT isn't the right school for you, you should definitely go to some college. Or, to borrow words from my fellow UT Blogger Jessica E "definitely go somewhere." One of my best friends has never been seen the ocean, and has actually only been out of the state of Tennessee once. Get out and see the world. It's not as lame as it seems.

Now, I have also been informed I have left out a vital part of my life that partially explains why I am even here. I was in a program in high school called International Baccalaureate. If any of you know what this is or dare I say. . .are in it. . .please follow the link to the left to Facebook and add me as a friend with the utmost quickness. For those of you who don't know about it, it is a college prepatory program that prepares you for college before you even get there so that when you do get here it's not near as complicated. Now, with that in mind, my teachers all expected a lot out of me and the rest of my classmates. The University of Tennessee is something like the 2nd best school in the state and and in the top 120 schools in the whole nation. So tell your friends who bash this school to "STEP OFF!" (in the words of Jack Black).

So it's application season, yeah? UT's deadline for the priority application just passed on Saturday. Sorry to not get that on here sooner. I tried. I really did. It was a busy October. But, it's still not too late to apply. A priority application is good to have, but don't worry, because there is always still the regular deadline. And UT's deadline is December 1st. Many colleges are usually January 1st, but its usually good to get it in before then. So get to work kiddos! A tidbit of advice: get a resume with all your info on it. It will work wonders and make your life SO. MUCH. EASIER. It seems harder than it is to make, but really, all it is is a list of your information on a sheet of paper that you can add to and refer to when filling out college applications, which all basically are the same. So it's always good to have something that answers all the tedious questions such as "What volunteer activities do you participate in?" and "Have you won any awards? If so, list them."

Yeah. So that's my "Helpful College Student Tips" for the day. Back to fun stuff:

For Halloween, I was a vampire. I went to Reese Haunted Woods, which for two dollars and a bunch of college students in masks, was amazing, and those who worked on it 237 kudos. On Saturday, at 11:59pm, I watched Rocky Horror Picture show, put on by UT Film crew, which was great. Fabulous. If you've never seen it, make sure to go if you get a chance, even if you're not really into it, it's worth the experience. It's fun, everyone dresses up, and I don't believe I've ever watched a movie people are can throw pieces of bread.

So I guess that's all for now. I must venture off, for my roommate has just started the movie Rent and I really. adore. that movie.

smooches<3

[a lesson in procrastination]

2008-10-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

time: 11:37pm
current song: shark attack [senses fail]

There is definitely something satisfying about sitting under Greve Hall with a copy of the Weekly Hangover watching a group of people play a game that they call four-square; but, since there is no giggling idiot screaming "CHERRY BOMB!" as s/he tries to slam the ball through the concrete to the very core of this earth, aforementioned game they are playing is NOT four-square.

Ah, my friends, this is college.

For me, at least.

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jessica. I hail from a small city outside of Seattle Washington, but I moved to Nashville when I was thirteen, right after the onset of puberty.

[WARNING TO PARENTS: Do not. I repeat. DO NOT move more than 10 miles from your current residence with a pre-teen/teenager. Results = Not pretty.]

After the move, I found I really had a knack for story-writing and making up my own friends, I made real friends. Fast-forward five years and here I am, major less, homeworkless, and listless, sitting under Greves Hall watching a mock game of four-square. By the way, I live in Hess Hall, not Massey. For those of you not familiar with the area, Massey Hall is about a 30 second walk to Greves Hall while Hess Hall is about a 5 to 10 minute walk. Greves, might I also mention, is not a coed dorm, therefore, there is no hope for any passers-by that I live here. Anyhow, I also might mention that my birthday is in January; I will be nineteen, and am now accepting gifts.

I'm not exactly sure how I wound up at good ole UT Knoxville, but I assure you, when I figure it out I will let you know. Either way, now I'm blogging for UT, which also surprises me because I was 20 minutes late for my interview because I couldn't find Circle Park (Which, my friends, is a REALLY FREAKING IMPORTANT area). And by the way, I believe I was supposed to have had this written approximately 24 hours ago. Go me.

I hope to enlighten you, entertain you, and possibly force my music upon you (Am I allowed to say that?). Prospective students, parents, friends, family, life partners, future acquaintances, enemies, Neda, and Josh:

Welcome to my world.
<3