Lauren and Erin

The College Scholars Program

2009-05-19T01:31:00.003-04:00

I have a confession to make. Lauren--who works more than I do, took more rigorous classes during the semester, and applied to vet school, interviewed, and got in this year--has been more diligent in keeping up with this blog. So props (and thanks) to my intelligent, dedicated, fantastic sister!

Why haven't I been so committed? Well, the amount of work I’ve done does not compare to what Lauren does when she's not writing the blog, but I had been consumed in writing of my own: my senior thesis.

Yes, it frightened me a bit, too, when I first learned I had to do one. I'd been accepted to the Chancellor’s Honors Program in summer 2005 before beginning my freshman year at UT and knew that one of the requirements to graduate in the Honors Program was to complete a senior project. I had no idea what I'd do for my senior project. I didn't even know what to declare as my major.

To complicate matters, I joined the College Scholars Program my junior year, opting to design my own major and curriculum, which was interesting for a girl whose worst flaw is indecisiveness. A senior project is also required not just for me to graduate in the College Scholars Program but for me to graduate. Period.

Those of you who have to write a senior thesis, don't freak out. Those of you who do not, I highly suggest that you consider writing one. I was able to research and write about something that pertained to my interests, without having to worry about content requirements and page limits or minimums. It was the culmination of my four years at the University of Tennessee. It was not my graduation requirement. It was my graduation accomplishment.

It took me quite a long time to come up with a topic. First, I considered evaluating humanitarian aid. When I learned what an exhausted and vastly written-about topic that is, I chose to look at war-affected education, on which I focused during my spring 2008 semester in Uganda. Having taken Bob Kronick's service-learning class the previous semester, I also thought about comparing marginalized education in northern Uganda to marginalized education in inner-city Knoxville. That proved more daunting of a task than I realized.

Finally, after reading my notes from all three of my trips to northern Uganda, I decided on a new topic and eventual title for my thesis: "Social Suffering in Northern Uganda: Analytical Reflections on Psychosocial Healing in Northern Uganda."

It is a topic that is relevant to present-day northern Uganda, pertains to my interests and knowledge, and one that I hope could be helpful for community-based programs in northern Uganda.

Writing the paper was difficult. As I read article after article and chapter after chapter about northern Uganda, I came across people I know, similar stories I have heard, and places I have visited and lived. To link facts with my own encounters was emotional, interrupting my book research with tears and my sleep with nightmares.

Furthermore, I recognized that my perspective was limited as an outsider. My connection to northern Uganda, however, is alive. I did not go, research, type of my notes, and leave for good. Rather, I interacted with people and learned alongside them. I return to Uganda when the opportunity arises. I remain in contact with my friends. In addition, I realize I can by no means understand the extent of the suffering through which these people have lived—rape, torture, death, and dehumanization—but I have learned to use my friendships there and my ability to listen in order to connect with people in a genuine way—to at least make a sincere attempt to understand their pain.

And that was the beauty of writing my senior thesis. To understand more deeply people I have created friendships with over the past two years. To make my undergraduate education meaningful less so for my transcript and resume and more so for the people I have worked with and others who might learn something from reading what I'd written.

So, friends, I leave you with advice for making your experience at the University of Tennessee not just another four years of routine learning, but rather a period of personal growth, engaged learning, and understanding of the world in which we live.

Personalize your education. Make it meaningful to you and those who can learn from you.
Support a cause. (If you're looking for a place to start, check out the Jazz for Justice Project.)
Turn to your local and global communities for real-life education. Learn from and with people.
Take a class with Dr. Jon Shefner of Sociology and Dr. Rosalind Hackett of Religious Studies.
Study, intern, and/or work abroad.
Open your mind.
Discover your passions.
Act on them.

Peace.

Oh, finals. Love them.

2009-05-02T21:20:00.002-04:00

P.S. We were totally there.

What did you do in class today? Was it as cool as what I did? Probably not.

2009-04-22T17:49:00.011-04:00

I apologize in advance if you're tired of hearing from me, but Erin's been swamped with finishing her thesis for College Scholars and I think you all deserve an update!

I've been thinking a lot about our little sister recently. She's a senior in high school and yesterday she sent me a picture of the prom dress she bought. After trying to comprehend that she was actually old enough to go to her senior prom, it hit me that that's not the only significant thing happening for her in these next few weeks. It hit me that she has EIGHT days left to decide where she's going to COLLEGE. (Gah, how is she this old?) But she's not the only one. So do you! This is such an exciting time for you! Good luck on the decision and shoot some questions our way if you need some last minute advice, thoughts, wisdom... That's what we're here for.

Speaking of ends and new beginnings, today was my last day of undergraduate classes. My one class tomorrow was canceled and I'll be in Lexington for a field trip on Friday when classes officially end for the university. It's surreal. These past four years seem to have flown by...but even still...when I think back to freshman year, it seems like ages ago. We'll both write more about graduating after graduation.

On a happy and probably more interesting note, I thought I'd share a few things I've done in my horse production class these last few weeks! I absolutely love my major and never miss out on an opportunity to brag about all the cool things I get to see and do. My horse production class encompasses everything horses. Everything from conformation to genetic diseases to saddle fitting to first aid to parasitology to nutrition to...reproduction.

Last week, our reproduction lab entailed teasing mares with a stallion to determine which mares were in heat and which ones were not. After selecting which mares exhibited signs of heat, we collected semen from Chief, filtered the semen, and then artificially inseminated the mares. It sounds easy, right? Well, you're not wrong. It wasn't difficult. BUT, you have to remember that these are 1100 lb. animals who can become dangerous when excited. That's me in the picture collecting Chief. I know, I know...all my friends giggled when I showed them the picture, too, but it was actually pretty incredible. Chief knew exactly what his job was. He casually mounted the phantom and then I collected. He's done this for years and the handlers know his behavior pretty well, but taking those extra precautionary steps to wear a football helmet and vest were necessary if he slipped or became too excited. It took about 30 seconds to collect it all and then he stepped down.

We filtered the sample and observed its motility under the microscope. It was interesting to learn how sensitive the semen's fertility was to external factors. It was pretty chilly that day, so Chief's normally motile sperm were a bit slow. Two students artificially inseminated two mares while the rest of us rectally palpated the other mares to feel their uterine horns and ovaries. We also performed an ultrasound while palpating to better distinguish what we were feeling. Erin doesn't understand why I get excited about this stuff, but I'm sure my fellow blogger and animal science major, Elizabeth, does. These may seem like trivial I-can't-believe-you-stuck-your-arm-up-a-horse's-butt things, but these just barely scratch the surface of what we'll be able to do with our degree. The field of veterinary medicine is so beautiful in that our patients cannot tell us what hurts or where it hurts or why they think it hurts. They don't understand us when we tell them that we're here to help. We have to be so in tune to the animal's behavior that we can tell when something is wrong. We have to be able to communicate with both the animal and the owner to ensure safety and understanding. We have to create an entirely stress-free environment without saying a word to our patients. That's why I love this stuff. Learning to rectally palpate a mare means that I could one day save a foal. That's why I get excited.

Yesterday was a lot less "gross" for all you readers with weak stomachs. I drove two 2,000 lb. Belgian draft horses! I've been riding competitively for years, but I have never...never...been in control of 4,000 lbs. of muscle. Never. These gentle giants were fascinating to be around. They were so aware of their huge size, but never took advantage of us measly humans. Their hooves were the size of dinner plates and their heads the size of toddlers. Each of us had the opportunity to drive the horses around a big field. Amazing.

I had mentioned that I'll be in Lexington on Friday for a class trip. It's for this class, too. We're camping on the grounds of the Keeneland racetrack and in addition to watching a race, roasting marshmallows, and having a bonfire, we'll be visiting Rood and Riddle Equine Hospital and the Kentucky Equine Sports Medicine and Reproduction Center. I can't think of a more perfect way to finish this semester.

Alrighty. Now I've got to stop procrastinating and write my 10 page paper...my last assignment of my undergraduate career.

--Lauren

A quick update from Lauren

2009-04-05T01:09:00.002-04:00

Sooooo, I found out this week that I got into UT's vet school! Buuuut, as much of a humbling honor that is, I have decided to attend the veterinary school in Ireland. My dream as I explained in my first post is to become a world citizen in the field of international veterinary public health. Living and learning in another country is my first step towards achieving that goal, in addition to learning how to become a better American citizen who understands more people than just her American brothers and sisters, more than an American education, more than an American perspective on medicine, and more than an American perspective on ...living.

A year of applying to veterinary school....

2009-03-19T02:35:00.007-04:00

I have mentioned that I applied to veterinary school, but I never actually explained the application process. I never actually explained what this past year of planning my next four years has entailed. For all of you who plan on earning another degree after college, get ready.

My vet school plans did not begin this year. Unsurprisingly, they began when I was a kid and naturally guided my way through college. The very first day of my freshman animal science class, my professors wanted to know how many of us planned on attending vet school following graduation. Nearly the whole class's hands shot up because this had been our dream since we knew what an animal was. They told us that by senior year, that number would reduce by more than half because going to vet school required a lot more than "loving animals," that a rigorous undergraduate curriculum would cause a lot of us to start working towards Plan B. Their skepticism frightened me to the point that I'd walk past the vet school and shudder, fearing that I'd never make it there. I remember earning an 88 on my first freshman biology exam and running to my advisor with tears in my eyes, asking him for advice on which major to switch to. He told me to stick with it.

I did and I used this fear as drive. As I watched general chemistry and organic chemistry and biochemistry weed out my classmates, I soon realized that the study habits I formed freshman year were enough to make me a candidate for vet school. I soon realized that the veterinary students were in fact human, that the veterinary school professors were in fact human, and that my undergraduate education at UT had more than prepared me for four more years of school. My love for learning would be enough to carry me through.

May 2008:
I took the GRE and earned a decent score, but not one that I'd be proud to send to my future university. I bought a book and planned to study over the summer.

June 2008:
There are only 28 schools in the United States and as much as I had wished I could apply to all of them, I had to be realistic. Applying to even one was in NO way inexpensive, so I had to narrow down my list. Eight of the schools offered dual degree programs in which I could earn my Masters of Public Health in the same four-year time frame as my DVM. The other twenty were out. Three of the schools required classes I hadn't taken and wouldn't have time to take in my senior year. I was down to five.

July 2008:
I began writing my personal statement and asking people for letters of recommendation. I also started making lists of my experiences, activities, honors, and classes.

August 2008:
I did not open the GRE book once during the summer, but retook the GRE and scored 190 points higher than the first time! I created an account with the veterinary school online application and began filling out the tediousness that I had been warned about. They weren't lying when they told me to START EARLY.

September 2008:
In between updating drafts of my personal statement and tweaking the online information, I was not making enough money to send applications to five schools. I knew that applying to my future alma mater was a given, so UT was in. I e-mailed admissions representatives from the other four until I found an out-of-state school that not only had the programs I was looking for, but the spirit and energy I could easily see myself a part of. That was it.

Those few weeks in September consisted of application crunch time until my deadline had finally come. The day before I left for Haiti, I sat in the library reading and rereading my application to ensure that everything was perfect. I had read a little blurb on the application website that day about a school in Ireland recently becoming accredited with the American Veterinary Medical Association and thought, "An international school? Ehh why not?" The final total was three. I navigated to the send page and after about seven minutes of biting my nails and frantically texting Erin about how nervous I was to send the document that would decide my future, I clicked SEND. The confirmation box popped up and my jaw dropped: I just sent my veterinary school application. WOAH. I breathed a sigh of relief and went home to pack for Haiti. All I could do now was wait.

October 2008:
October 2nd is the national due date for the application, so I calmly carried on my October 1st as I watched my classmates frantically finish their applications. I was so thankful for sending mine two weeks earlier.

November 2008:
The week before Thanksgiving, the out-of-state school had sent me an e-mail inviting me to interview with them in the end of January. I hadn't expected to hear anything so early, so I was excited! My dream was actually on its way to becoming reality.

December 2008:
...impatiently waiting...

January 2009:
The day after returning home from the inauguration, I sat in my favorite off-campus coffee shop studying reproductive physiology when I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. I walked outside to take it. "Am I speaking to Lauren?" the voice asked in an Irish accent. I confirmed that it was. "Lauren, this is ____ from ____. You'll be receiving a letter later this week, but I just wanted to call you with some good news. We would like to offer you an invitation to join next year's veterinary class. How does that sound?"

At 12:30 that afternoon, my 21-year-old dream came true. I was going to veterinary school.

On January 30, I traveled out of state for my first interview. I had taken a career seminar class through animal science last year where we participated in mock interviews. I went into it as prepared as I could possibly be and actually had a blast! My interview committee consisted of three school affiliates who wanted to know about me and about my knowledge of current public health events. If an interview could be fun, this one was.

February 2009:
While at work over Valentine's Day weekend, Erin texted me to inform me that a letter from that out-of-state school had come. "Big or small envelope?" I asked. "Big," she wrote, "Do you want me to open it?" I thought about it for a while, but couldn't resist the temptation. I asked her to open it.

"You got in."

Wow. I couldn't believe that I was fortunate enough to have a CHOICE as to which veterinary school I wanted to attend. I didn't know how I could be so lucky.

Right before my birthday weekend, another letter had come. This time it was from the University of Tennessee and again, Erin read the good news before I did. UT had invited me to interview with them!!!

March 2009:
E-mails and telephone calls generally tell me nothing about a school. I decided to take two days off from classes and fly over to my ancestors' homeland to visit that Irish veterinary school and get some face time with professors, students, and admissions. I learned that a degree here will allow me to practice in the United States, the United Kingdom, and any British Commonwealth country. Not a bad idea for someone who wants to work internationally.

Continuing the Irish theme, my UT interview was on St. Patrick's Day. The day that I had prepared for since that first animal science class had finally come and it was so surreal. I think the interview went well and I'll find out about acceptances in the next few weeks!

April 2009:
I will have to make a decision by April 17th.

May 2009:
I graduate on May 6th and begin a summer of emptying my brain for the onslaught of information that I will receive come August!

It's been fun and if I could change anything about these close to four years, I wouldn't. Everything happens for a reason, especially regarding changing passions. Don't be afraid to go with it.

-Lauren-

Happy birthday to us!

2009-02-22T15:36:00.002-05:00

We're 22 on 2/22! And we're twins...so there are 2 of us! Had to share the excitement of our Golden Birthday. This won't happen for another 200 years.

By now we've posted enough pictures for you to guess which one's which in this one. Go ahead. Guess.

January 20, 2009.

2009-02-03T00:02:00.012-05:00

We know this post is long. It was a long day, but well worth it. We hope reading this is, too.

3:30 AM: Rise and shine!

For some reason it's easier to wake up at 3:30 in the morning to witness history being made than it is to get up for an 8 o'clock class. If only our professors could promise a newsworthy lecture every morning...

The seven of us rolled out of our respective beds, couches, and floors and into the endless layers of clothing we would soon be thankful for packing. As we downed coffee and jammed muffins into our pockets, we briefly wondered if waking up eight hours before the swearing in was even necessary. The answer, we'd quickly find out, was yes.

4:15 AM: Stand back, doors closing.

We walked through the chilly pitch-black morning to the Vienna Metro station in northern Virginia where the line to purchase Metro tickets was already overflowing out of the station and into the parking lot. Being well versed on Washingtonianism, we bought our tickets the day before and bypassed the hour-long line to join the dozens beyond dozens of people already waiting on the platform. We managed to find seats for five of us...pretty good, considering.

5:30 AM: Lean on me.

Our early start was later than some. The Metro had opened at 3, so the normal 30-45 minute ride into the city was delayed due to tourist Metro traffic on the trains in front of us. No worries, though. We made it into DC before the sun had risen and joined the throngs of people walking blindly towards the National Mall. After walking a few blocks, our adrenaline-aided hike to the Mall came to a dead stop. We were now standing shoulder-to-shoulder with breathing room only among HUNDREDS of people boasting every age, color, shape, and size. The world in one city block.

At this point, patience and a sense of humor were necessary for the following reasons:
1. It was freezing.
2. If you weren't claustrophobic to begin with, you were learning why that fear exists.
3. It was freezing.
4. It was early.
5. It was freezing.
6. After hearing the horrific news stories about the Black Friday Walmart tramplings, we realized how much of a reality a "death-by-trampling" really is.
7. Oh, and it was freezing.

These two necessities ran rampant throughout the crowd as indicated by random Obama chants and spontaneous singing. One group started singing "Lean on Me," but it only took a handful of seconds for everyone to join in. Funny how fitting that song was.

7:30 AM: What?! We're in the wrong line?!

We woke up at 3:30 that morning for one reason: to get a within-Capitol-view spot on the Mall. We had read that the Mall opened to the public at 4AM, so when our crowd had not budged an INCH towards that direction in the span of two hours, we started wondering why.

We were in the wrong "line."

When we got off the Metro, we had specifically told a DC police officer that we were wanting to see the swearing in and not the parade (tourists were advised to choose one over the other due to massive amounts of people). He had directed us to the wrong location. Sooooo...we pushed our way out of the parade group where we sucked in oxygen for the first time that morning and realized that it was, in fact, a lot colder outside of the crowd than inside of it.

DC cops have crowd control down pat. Frustrating for the crowd, but logical for the controllers. When we had escaped the parade traffic, we were directed to a specific intersection. When we got there, a policewoman directed us to walk four more blocks. When we got THERE, two policemen directed us back to that first intersection. We had walked in a 20 minute CIRCLE so that the crowd would disperse and become slightly more controllable. Thanks.

8:45 AM: This land was made for you AND me.

We made it.

Our goal of seeing the Capitol did not happen as we stood allllll the way back by the Washington Monument. We could care less. As far as we were concerned, we had a perfect view of one of the many jumbotrons and were currently standing among 2+ million of our fellow Americans. Gives us the chills to even write that.

(Erin on the left, Lauren on the right)

Go ahead. Say it..."WOW."

If you've noticed, we have yet to indicate which candidate received our votes (This was the first presidential election we were old enough to vote in, by the way. An exciting one, yes?) We won't because it doesn't matter...it didn't matter. All of January 20, 2009 can be summed up in that picture.

The media portrays a violent America; our home plagued with crime and fear; our American bothers and sisters polluted with prejudices and materialism. Think again, America. While walking to the Mall, inauguration volunteers handed out nametags that read: "HELLO, FELLOW AMERICAN. MY NAME IS ____________." Their cheery "Good morning!" and "Welcome to DC!" greetings destroyed claustrophobia, restored excitement, and removed resentment of waiting in the wrong line. We were now standing among friends we had never met, our countrymen and women whose life stories we wish we had the chance to hear. We were introducing ourselves to people from every state (plus several other countries!!), every walk of life, every ethnicity. We were reggae dancing to Bob Marley's "ONE Love" with perfect "strangers" (a.k.a. new friends). We were laughing and basking in what many have died to give us: freedom.

Before the swearing in, the previous day's "We Are One" Inauguration Concert played on the jumbotrons. Picture this: the microcosm of America that stood on the National Mall sang "This Land is Your Land" IN UNISON. The Bruce Springsteen and Pete Seeger-led rendition of the song we all learned in elementary school had so much more meaning when the people of that "land" were singing it together. We took a video, but here's one from YouTube that's longer than ours and closer to the Capitol.

11:30 AM: We have a new president.

At 11:30, President-Elect Barack Obama became President Barack Obama. And that's that.

See the people in this picture? They're Obama supporters. They're McCain supporters. They're Clinton (Mr. and Mrs.) supporters. They're Bush supporters. They're (insert name here) supporters.

We don't know if you caught any news coverage of this day, but in case you didn't: no arrests were made. 2+ million people of different beliefs crammed into a tiny city on a day the government designated "A National State of Emergency" and no arrests were made. We can vouche for that. With the exception of a few, this was a peaceful, respectable, respectful crowd. That's the way it should be.

3:30 PM: We can feel our toes again!

Due to the tourist invasion, Metro was closed immediately following the inauguration. We walked from one quadrant of the city to another to a friend's apartment where we watched pieces of the parade and warmed up with hot tea. The day was just about over for four in the group and the night was just beginning for three of us. We had a BALL to get ready for!

6:00 PM: Good ol' Rocky Top.

As we were walking out of the apartment for the ball with our friend, Lindsay, we heard something familiar on the TV. The shot of President Obama bobbing his head to "Rocky Top" switched to The Pride of the Southland Marching Band. OUR band on national television! Were we proud? Oh yeah.

Back outside in the cold, we hailed a taxi. With roads closed off and parade/ball traffic, there was no way our cab driver could get us to our ball. No way.

So we decided to walk....in our gowns...in our heels...in the sunless cold...for 10 blocks.

About 3 blocks into our icy trek, we stumbled upon an empty rickshaw. As he was wheeling away, we shouted, "Rickshaw!!" We told him our story, so he piled the three of us in his two-person carriage and did everything...EVERYTHING...in his power to get us to the steps of the National Museum of Natural History for our ball. He took us down alleyways, around barricades, on roads closed to automobiles...and then we were there.

6:30 PM: The Health for All Blue Diamond Inaugural Ball

This time last year, Lauren interned with the American Public Health Association. APHA was one of the partners for this ball, so we were able to purchase discounted tickets. We were very lucky.

(Erin on the left, Lauren on the right)

Speakers at this event included Drs. Paul Farmer and Jim Kim of Partners in Health (go read Mountains Beyond Mountains if you've never heard of these men...NOW), several congressmen, the dean of the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health, the executive director of APHA, UN Goodwill Ambassadors, and others.

The ground floor of the museum was open for guests to explore, but only VIP guests could go upstairs and view the blue Hope Diamond after which the ball is named. We sat with a couple and talked about global health and public health education over hors d'ouvres before they let us use their VIP tickets to see the diamond. And the kindness theme continues.

Midnight: Koman ou ye, Dokter Farmer?

We snatched a picture with Dr. Farmer before heading back to Vienna. Lauren practiced her Creole with the man who pioneered global health (starting in Haiti) and then the night was over. We arrived in Vienna around 1 AM and drove straight back to Knoxville.

...just in time for class.

Ohhh, you must know my twin sister...

2009-01-08T09:39:00.010-05:00

We're unique in the fact that we have identical DNA. It almost seems like an oxymoron, but it's true. Being identical to another human being puts you in the minority...and it also makes life a whole lot more entertaining.

We thought it would be fun to give you a not-so-thorough idea of what it's like to be a twin on campus. And by "not-so-thorough," we simply mean that the feeling is only comprehensible if you actually are. We didn't know what to expect our freshman year. We had always been in the same classes since Kindergarten, so walking side-by-side through school normally rendered the same stares, comments, and questions we had received outside of school (which, by the way, will constitute the twin book we plan on writing someday):

Are you related?
Are you cousins?
Are you sisters?
Are you twins? (The previous four usually occur in that order.)
Wow! Y'all look alike!
If one of you gets hurt, does the other, like, feel it?
Can you read each other's minds?
Do you go to each other's classes?
Can your parents tell you apart?
If you stand back-to-back, can you see 360 degrees?
Are you twins? Yes. Woah! Siamese twins! (We were standing on opposite sides of the room, we kid you not.)
Wouldn't it be cool if one of you was born before midnight on New Year's Eve and the other was born after midnight on New Year's Day? Then, you'd be born on different days, months, AND years!
Who's older? And by how much?
How can I tell you apart?
What's it like being a twin?

Alright, alright. You get the point. You'd think they'd get redundant after almost 22 years and you're right, but we don't mind in the least. We really don't like the limelight, but if being a walking freak show makes someone's day slightly more interesting, then so be it. We're all about that.

So, college has been a challenge. We were no longer walking together to each other's classes. We were no longer defined by each other. We were no longer our high school identity/nickname of "the Twins." Lauren became Lauren for the first time and Erin became Erin for the first time. Sounds easy, but not so much.

Lauren's first encounter with being called Erin:

One day freshman year, I was eating on campus with our mutual friend, Victoria. My current friend Ryan who only knew Erin at the time, approached me and said, "Hey Erin! How are ya?" I froze. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as responses flooded my brain.

Awkward silence.

"I'm...good," was all my mouth had received from my brain. The abruptness rendered more awkward silence combined with an awkward half smile and awkward eye contact, which was followed by eye contact with my food while Victoria nervously glanced from me to Ryan and back to me. He sat down at the table behind us and that was that. Or so I thought. Victoria turned around. "Uhh, that's not Erin (laughter). This is her twin, Lauren."
My eyes widened as I shot her a fearful look, whiiiiich created awkward silence followed by Ryan's severe confusion (he had no idea Erin had a twin). His face reminded me of someone who had just been slapped and the awkwardness persisted as I provided no additional explanation to Victoria's comment.

Days later, we had a more official meeting in which we actually exchanged names and laughed over the embarrassment we suffered.

Baby Steps and Damage Control.

Most of that year, we struggled in revealing our identities to those who had mistaken one of us for the other. We like to make people feel good about themselves, so correcting these poor twin-victims was not something we enjoyed doing. It embarrassed them. After awkward-fest with Ryan, TWO people were embarrassed: him and Lauren. That was enough reason to stop pretending to be the other, but some situations occurred and still happen too quickly that thinking quickly either means responding as each other or not at all.

Which is why we created "Damage Control." Our newly developed photographic memories combined with the beauty of Facebook has allowed us to salvage many friendships.

Examples:

Erin is running late to class as someone waves and says, "Hey Lauren!" Erin does not smile, but waves. Damage Control: Erin describes the waver as female with shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes, of average weight, and approximately 5'5". She carried a blue JanSport backpack. Lauren responds with three possible names and we Facebook the girls together. Erin identifies #2 as the waver and Lauren approaches her the next day to inform her that the girl she waved at was not Lauren, but actually her twin sister, Erin. All is good.
Lauren is studying by herself in the library as someone walks up to her and says, "Hey!" He does not specifically mention Erin's name, but Lauren has a feeling he knows Erin. Lauren kind of smiles, whispers, "Hi," and continues to study. She knows she just pulled another Ryan disaster, but decides to play it off as coolly as possible. Damage Control: Lauren describes the library guy as tall with short (not buzzed...just short), light brown hair. He had brown eyes and a deep voice with only a hint of a Southern accent. Erin pulls up a few possibilities via Facebook. Lauren identifies one of them as the library guy and Erin approaches him in class to inform him that she was not being rude in the library because it wasn't her. He laughs and thanks her for the explanation as his only thought leaving the library run-in was, "Well, she's in a bad mood today."

Ohhh, you must know my twin sister...

Now that we're seniors, being mistaken for the other is just about an hourly experience. By now, though, we've been able to semi-successfully avoid excessive awkwardness by using these run-ins as opportunities to make new friends.

Here's an example conversation of how we've progressed:

"Hey!" (crickets) "Heeeeyyy, youuuu proooobably know my sister, Erin. I'm her twin, Lauren. (reach for the handshake) What's your name?" "[insert new friend's name here] Wow, I didn't know she had a twin." "Haha nice to meet you! Yeah, we have a good time confusing people. So, how do you know Erin?"(etc. etc.)

Even though we've gotten pretty good at making the situation not weird for everyone, it's still sort of funny to see people's reactions. Some get so flustered that even saying, "Don't worry about it! We promise you're not the only one!" does nothing to ease the embarrassment. One guy almost fell over a trash can as he stuttered and walked backwards out of the room. Another chapter in the twin book, we suppose.

-Lauren and Erin

P.S. If you have twin questions or want to know the answers to any we listed, feel free to let us know! :)

Erin's Turn

2008-12-15T21:54:00.006-05:00

The last letter came in September, four months after I'd returned from Uganda for the second time. She wrote about her two year-old daughter who was about to begin school. To give her daughter an education, she told me, was all that she could ever ask for.

Agnes is my 18 year-old Ugandan sister. I met her in an internally displaced persons camp (IDP camp) in July 2007 when I traveled to Uganda for the first time under the auspices of the Jazz for Justice Project (JfJ), which, founded by UT Professor Rosalind Hackett, seeks to use music and the arts as healing and peacebuilding in northern Uganda.

In 2006, a ceasefire halted the hostilities of northern Uganda's 21 year-old civil war between the government and a rebel group called the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA), led by Joseph Kony. The rebel movement began in 1986 in response to President Yoweri Museveni's rise to power by coup and alienation of northerners--more specifically, an ethnic group called the Acholi.

When Kony began to lose civilian support in the mid-90s, he resorted to abducting Acholi children from their homes and schools, brainwashing them, and forcing them to kill as soldiers. In addition, the government forced almost two million northern Ugandans from their homes into IDP camps, where most people still live and where, at the height of the war, a thousand people died every week of disease, violence, lack of clean water, and so forth.

Peace talks failed during my spring 2008 semester in Uganda, but the battle for justice between the Acholi and the Ugandan government still rages. Both the government and the rebels are to blame in the suffering the Acholi have lived with and died of over the past 21 years, but while the two sides toss responsibility back and forth, the suffering in northern Uganda continues. The Acholi are still struggling with trauma. They are still trying to survive in the camps. They are still seen as inferior.

During the spring of 2008, I lived in Uganda, interning at Parliament in the capital before moving up to the northern region, where I lived for the majority of my semester. I connected with the Ministry of Education and spent my time meeting with nongovernmental organization workers and joining school inspectors on their trips to rural schools outside of town. I met up with Agnes the day before I returned to the U.S. in May. It was the first time I had seen her in almost a year.

When I returned home, I jumped right in to planning for our third annual Jazz for Justice Concert, which is held in Knoxville and raises money for our partners, the Northern Uganda Girls Education Network. Since 2006, JfJ has raised over $15,000 for NUGEN.

I leave today for my third trip to Uganda, this time with 10 other UT students. We will spend all of Christmas break there, splitting half the time in Gulu Town (in the north) and half the time in Kampala (the capital). Before returning to the States, we will travel to Rwanda for a few days to visit the genocide memorials.

While the focus of the trip is to further the partnership with the Northern Uganda Girls Education Network, each student will pursue his or her own academic interests by meeting with nongovernmental organizations, hospital workers, educators, politicians, religious leaders, etc.

The University of Tennessee has recently established the Center for Civic Engagement at the newly opened Howard Baker, Jr. Center for Public Policy. This trip is intended to jumpstart international service-learning at UT.

My experiences in Uganda have shaped my academic and future professional careers, but more importantly, they've molded my human relationships and the way I see the world and my place in it. Agnes and I have written each other since I first met her back in July 2007. I wrote from my dorm room at the University of Tennessee and she from the nearest post office, since mail could not be delivered to the IDP camp. I wrote about my family and she about hers. We talked about life, education, our futures. I often question how much I, as a young college student, can help support her, her education, her daughter, and her education. I do know, however, that we share our humanity. We share our womanhood. We share a beautiful friendship.

And this is why I keep going back. It's not for the research. It's not for the course credits.

It's for the people.

--

I return to my second home today. A home that awaits me with open arms, ready to greet me with warm breezes, the sweet smell of flowers, and the chaos of motorcycle taxi drivers.

Emirembe ("Peace" in Luganda),
Erin

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-30T00:21:00.002-05:00

Wishing you all a belated happy Thanksgiving!
We're thankful for so many things that could take thousands of blog posts to fill, but here's one:

Waking up everyday.
It's easy to take LIFE for granted sometimes.
Don't.

Lauren's Turn

2008-11-25T16:56:00.011-05:00

Thanks so much for your patience!

As of 2:15 Monday afternoon, my life returned to some bit of normalcy when I turned in my last exam of the semester. I just have two homework assignments to go until finals and then I'm officially halfway done with my last year of college. CRAZY.

It's been an interesting few weeks for me as far as thoughts on graduating go. All semester, I kept talking about how ready I am to graduate and how excited I am to move on and experience something new. I still am and still will be all the way up until graduation, but I've been hit hard with pangs of nostalgia these past couple of weeks.

I opted to walk alone to a biochemistry exam review last week, a habit I've picked up when I start to feel overwhelmed or nervous (I don't get stressed anymore. "Stress" is a word and feeling that I've given up entirely this semester for reasons I'll explain in later posts since this tangent is already getting too long...). I walked from the library to Walters Life Science in the cold, reviewing biochem material over and over in my head to keep my mind off the fact that my nose was approximately 2.8 seconds away from falling off of my face. When I caught sight of the colors of the November sunset against the buildings on the Hill, my thoughts switched gears. You'll get this on your tour, but the Hill is the original site of the University of Tennessee when it moved from the downtown area and now serves as the primary location for the sciences, math, and engineering. To me, its buildings represent old academia, the university campus stereotype in movies, and just a few of the reasons I refuse to stop getting excited about learning. Seeing those autumn yellows hit the red brick buildings and the orange sun and clear blue sky reflected in their windows took me out of November19, 2008 and brought me back to freshman year when the concept of college was totally new and my naivety regarding campus experiences was something I cherished. Then, I could honestly wake up knowing that each day would bring me something I hadn't experienced the day before and whether that was falling out of my lofted Morrill Hall bed or napping in the sun on the Amphitheater grass, I loved it. This was college.

I've grown a bit since then. Okay...I've grown up a LOT. The people who knew me back in 2005 have witnessed my passions morph into something none of us could have predicted; they've witnessed me discover confidence and independence; they've witnessed me transform from a competitive student who reluctantly came to her fallback school over her number one school solely for financial reasons, to a laid back life-learner who put 110% into squeezing everything she could from her time here both inside the classroom and out; they've witnessed me fear going to a club meeting without Erin to living in Washington, D.C. for a semester without her while she lived in Uganda.

All in all, I've changed...scratch that, I still prefer the word GROWN. I credit this growth to all of my life experiences in these past 3 1/2 years, but it's my time at the University of Tennessee that constitutes the majority of those 3 1/2 years and it's my time at the University of Tennessee that has allowed me to find those non-UT life experiences. Okay, so how?

From your first UT tour to orientation to every day of your freshman year, you will hear the same thing: "College is what you make it. The opportunities are here. Find them. Embrace them." It will sound cliche after a while, but don't brush it off as redundant information that won't ever apply to you. It will. It is. You're college-hunting right now, so it applies to you NOW. Trust me, it does. And the funny thing is, you'll first embrace these opportunities to make friends. You won't even realize what sort of effect it will have on you in the end.

Examples:

1. I have been riding horses competitively since I was seven, so I joined the Equestrian Team because I had always planned on riding during college. I not only walked away with both friends and a year as captain of the Hunt Seat team, but I also had an extreme lesson in time management and commitment. (Picture: The team after we cleaned up one weekend! Team finished second on day one and first on day two!)

2. I got my first taste of activism my freshman year. Until then, I rarely practiced my freedom of speech in public. Until then, I wondered how one person could be heard, how one person could make a difference. I've since learned that one person CAN make a difference through my involvement with different activist and community service organizations on campus. Now I can't imagine remaining idle. I can't imagine not speaking out for something I believe in. (Picture: Part of the Jazz for Justice team with Congressman Duncan in Washington, DC on Uganda Lobby Day.)

3. I became a Resident Assistant for two reasons: to stop my trend of being broke and to have the opportunity to enlighten 60 freshman women to how great their time at UT would be. My year as an RA proved to fulfill both of those plus others I hadn't expected. It's hard for non-twins to understand what being independent after 18 years of being attached at the hip means. It's overwhelming, for sure, but "overwhelming" only scratches the surface. I learned to make decisions without running them by Erin first. I learned to confront people to address conflicts instead of meekly letting people walk all over me. I learned to speak in front of people confidently and listen genuinely. All in all, this job was the best thing that's ever happened to me. (Picture: Warming up with some of my residents after snowboarding!)

4. Perhaps the most important thing I've learned (besides #3) is that I'm in college for me. The grades I make are MINE; the goals I've set are MINE. People will challenge you every second of your life. They'll compare you to someone else or tell you that you're not good enough. Remember that you exist for a reason and use that inevitable criticism to fuel your drive. It'll be worth it both in the end and along the way.

5. Ready for the world? UT is and encourages its students to be through studies abroad, domestic internships, and local initiatives. After I had spent a month in South Africa through the Rotary Club of Knoxville in 2006, I came back with new ideas for my future post-vet school. I brainstormed and adjusted my semester schedules so I could explore these ideas. With UT's opportunities to create independent studies, I was able to spend my spring 2007 semester in Washington, DC where I interned with the Global Health section of the American Public Health Association. I gained some interesting global perspectives and an amazing slap in the face of human solidarity. Most importantly, though, I learned where an education could lead me. I came back to UT to finish out my senior year with an appreciation for my education. Walking through the library makes my heart race. I'm probably about to sound like the biggest dork in the world, but when I walk past study groups hashing out complicated information or individual students intensely researching in their own cubicles or shelves and shelves of books that contain massive amounts of information, I seriously stop and TRY to comprehend the amount of learning going on in such a small environment. It's unreal and it's enough to keep me going.

So, I guess that brings me back to biochem and November 19, 2008. No, I was not stressed. My nostalgia had cured that for me. How could I be when I've got the chance to learn about the intricacies of LIFE?! No. I'm IN college to learn. I'm IN college to work myself so hard to understand the mysteries of ignorance and discover the beauty of knowledge. I'm IN college to correlate words in a book to actions in the real world. Yes, I'm nostalgic. Yes, I will sorely miss my independence, my freedom, my spontaneity. And yes, I'm pretty sure I'm still ready to move on. I'm still ready to make the world my classroom. I'm still ready to become a useful world citizen who will never...NEVER...quit learning.

Peace,
Lauren

....

2008-11-19T09:53:00.002-05:00

Hello friends! We haven't forgotten about you.

We will be MIA until next week. The last few weeks of school warrant exams, projects, and papers that all fall around the same days, thus keeping us from posting here!

We'll have plenty to write about soon. Thanks for understanding.

-Lauren and Erin

Let's sort out some priorities.

2008-11-03T23:29:00.003-05:00

So, we promise that we'll eventually get into the details of each of our trips to Haiti and Uganda and how our wonderful UT experiences have led us there. And we're completely sincere when we say that the University of Tennessee led us there. These close to three and half years have allowed us to explore, grow, and discover, but we'll get to those posts eventually.

We've been given the freedom to voice the good and the bad of this university. The highs and lows. Its strengths and its flaws. So...here it goes.

We're sure you're not out of the media loop, but in case you are... Coach Fulmer was "encouraged" to resign this morning. Sad news for his fans, exciting news for his haters. We're impartial. Unsurprisingly, he doesn't get the short end of the stick. We don't know about you, but we've never heard of anyone in collegiate history getting fired with a whopping paycheck of SIX MILLION DOLLARS. Pretty sweet deal, huh? Yes, PLEASE fire me. I'd like to get an incomprehensible amount of money as a parting gift. Thanks for the generous thought.

Let's recap what this year's been like for University of Tennessee students quickly:

Failing economy = statewide budget cuts = higher education gets cut first = decreased financial aid distribution from the state + increased university tuition = broke students feeling the effects of the university's attempt to deal with its tiny budget (i.e. paying for football tickets for a season that's not worth it, shorter library hours, decreased number of available classes, college-specific changes...read more here) = unhappy students who should be living up EVERY second of their college experiences because they deserve to...because they only get one opportunity to experience the incredible four (or five...maybe six) years that is college.

We're not playing the blame game. We know that the University of Tennessee is answering to a higher authority as far as the cuts go. We know that Phillip Fulmer didn't hand himself his parting paycheck. We're upset with the poor prioritization of all of this. Phillip Fulmer coaches college football. A sport. He gets paid $6 million for being fired for not meeting the expectations of coaching this SPORT. $6 million. We don't even know what that number means. He gets $6 million the SAME year his university suffers from an $11.1 million budget cut. That's killer. $11.1 million dollars? Do you know how far that goes in a single student's ability to meet his or her potential?!

Fulmer gets paid an additional SIX MILLION DOLLARS to his already overly-comfortable, failing-economy-what?, very padded savings account while the future of this country suffers. There are people walking around this campus who might have the ability to find a cure for cancer, the potential to become president, the understanding to teach the future's children, the passion to solve the environmental crisis, the compassion to save the world's starving children. These are our 18 to 22 year old peers. And a football coach gets an additional $6 million for not doing his job well. Makes sense. You're right.

We know that football does a lot for this university. For one thing, it has the ability to generate campus unity, to create an infectious school spirit that many envy. That's awesome. For another, it puts us on the map. Neyland Stadium are two words many people can identify with. Where's that? Tennessee...where they bleed orange. Awesome times two. It also serves as one of the primary reasons students choose to attend this university. For good reason, too! It's certainly an adrenaline rush to be surrounded by orange-clad game-goers while the Pride plays our school's theme song. Awesome times three.

The downfall: football is football and it is prioritized too much. Football doesn't solve economic crises or prevent diseases or educate the underserved or combat AIDS or compose the next musical masterpiece. It entertains and pays its coaches really well.

Alrighty, now we'll step off the soapbox...but not for good. We've learned to voice our disdain for ignorance and injustice. We've stepped down for one reason: to encourage you, our peers, to take a stand. College is the perfect place to start (or continue) exercising your freedom of speech.

Two weeks ago, our peers organized a budget cut rally to give students a chance to voice their frustration with the state's decision to impact higher education so heavily. We can assure you that we are not the only ones who care about what's happening. Roughly 1% or less of the student body was present at the rally, a disappointing number that was met with such comments as "Why does this matter? You're in Knoxville and the decisions are being made in Nashville." It DOES matter. Why? Because if we let it slide, it gives our legislators room to make it worse next time. "But you're graduating this spring. Why bother?" Why bother? Two reasons. One- because of YOU, readers. Because of the students who will enter this university after we're gone. Because of the students who will feel greater effects of poorly prioritized money allocation. Two- because of the idea behind it all! Higher education gets cut first? No way. WE are the future of this world and without the education to lead us there, what's the point?

The soapbox is all yours now.

The real definition of "senioritis."

2008-10-20T17:25:00.002-04:00

The common definition:
sen-ior-i-tis [seen-yur-hy-tis]
noun--
- 1. the burnt out, I just-don't-care-because-I'm-graduating-next-semester, apathetic feeling towards school
- 2. a student's entirely legitimate excuse for procrastinating and allowing grades to plummet

The real definition:
sen-ior-i-tis [seen-yur-hy-tis]
noun--
- 1. the revelation of the value of a college education and the anticipation of seeing where it will take you
- 2. the procrastination of senior studies due to overwhelmingly exciting thoughts of a killer future
- 3. the understanding that college is awesome, but that counting down the days until you get to do something useful with your life is even awesomer

Basically, thinking about what happens from here has been consuming our lives to the point where we'd rather brainstorm about everything we want to do instead of finishing
what we're supposed to do NOW. It's all good.

Okay, back to dreaming...errr, studying.

Live a little.

2008-10-12T22:00:00.008-04:00

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world.

This makes it hard to plan the day."
--E.B. White

That's us and our daily dilemma in two sentences.

Now we're ready to tackle the questions.

Q: Are you related?

A: Yes.

Q: Are you cousins?

A: No.

Q: Are you sisters?

A: Yes. We're Lauren and Erin: identical twins, best friends, and life-lovers who excel at being awkward when waving back to people who think we're the other. It's hard to believe how quickly we've reached our final year at the University of Tennessee, but it's here and in a few months, we'll be leading two different (yet similar) lives for the first time in 21 years.

Q: You have to share a blog? Haven't you shared enough things in your life?

A: Yep, we've shared everything since before birth. We've gone from being wombmates to roommates while sharing a car, clothes, and friends along the way. We don't mind it since we're really not used to anything different, but we're sharing a blog for one pretty important reason:

We want to show you how two identical people can have two very different experiences at this university (yet give you insight into how interrelated these different experiences can be).

Let's get started, shall we?

Lauren is studying animal science and just finished applying to veterinary school where she also plans on earning a Masters of Public Health. She hopes to find her way into the international arena to work with zoonotic diseases in poverty and hunger stricken parts of the world. She just returned from a week in Haiti where she worked with a mobile medical clinic team of ten to deliver health care to people who can't access it due to financial or other circumstances. More info to come in future posts.

(Picture: Learning Creole from a translator and friend in Haiti)

Erin has designed her own major through an individualized program called College Scholars, where her concentration in "Reshaping Humanitarianism in Africa" has led her to northern Uganda to study war-affected education. She's in the process of finalizing the plans for her third trip this December. Her senior project focuses on establishing international service learning at UT. More info to come in future posts.

(Picture: Fishing on Lake Victoria in Busia, Uganda)

As a naive freshman, Lauren thought she wanted to be an equine veterinarian specializing in reproduction. About two weeks into college, she decided on large aquatic mammals... a few months later, primates... then back to horses... now to public health and agriculture. This past summer, she almost had a nervous meltdown because she thought she wanted to go to medical school. She stuck with her childhood plan of applying to veterinary school and is 99.9% sure she made the right decision. Her point? DON'T SETTLE. Your passions will change as life happens to you. Embrace it.

As a naive freshman, Erin thought she wanted to go into exercise science, then math, then engineering. About a week into college, she realized that her initial plan to go into science or math was not what she wanted after all. She switched over to the Humanities and declared a Global Studies major by the beginning of her sophomore year. By the end of that same year, she had created her own major in College Scholars, incorporating African Studies, Global Studies, Religious Studies, Journalism, and Sociology. Her point? IT'S OKAY TO BE FLEXIBLE ABOUT YOUR FUTURE PLANS. It'll all come together when it's supposed to. Be patient.

We'll leave it at that for now. Be on the lookout for individual posts about our journeys through college and preparation for life. Go ahead and start shooting us questions.

Peace,

Lauren and Erin

P.S. Life's all about living it. Don't sit back and watch it happen. It's yours.